… creativity stifled

•08/12/2010 • Leave a Comment

so i’ve moved to a different blogging site, where i feel i can really make my blog look the way i’d like, so if you’d like to continue on my wild ride, you can find me here

… what have i done

•08/11/2010 • Leave a Comment

i’ve done what i seem to do best, i’ve behaved in a very inappropriate and disrespectful manner… you deserve so much more of me, Sir, and i’m unsure why i’m heading down this road that is only going to leave me further away from you… i don’t know where this disconnect happens in my brain… if i did, i’d tear it out so that i’d stop doing this, when you have earned better than this, Sir… i feel like i’m drowning, and the only one who can help me, is the one i seem to turn my back on… i am so ashamed of myself… i don’t know what else to say… i feel so unworthy to be in your presence

… how dare you

•08/09/2010 • 1 Comment

talk to me as though you’ve got any higher ground to stand on… your hypocrisy stains every word you’ve ever spoken to me, it stinks more than rotting garbage in a landfill… henceforth you are cut off from having any influence on my life… your opinions, your money, your sheer existence is of no value to me any longer… i tried to give you a chance, dear father, to redeem yourself, to prove that the concern you express for your grandchildren was genuine… you proved that you’re nothing more than a coward and a fraud, and i revoke any license you believed you held to judge anything i say or do in this life… you’re no longer worthy to be my father, i relegate you to file 13

… where on earth

•08/04/2010 • Leave a Comment

did this feeling come from… i feel like i’ve been hit by a mac truck, but it’s left me floating on a cloud of sheer bliss… never was i told that i’d ever deserve your love, Sir, i was told that i’d never be worth anything to anyone… and yet you have defined and solidified my worth, in ways that i wouldn’t have ever been able to imagine… we’ve both wandered a rough road in this life, never knowing just where they would take us, Sir… suddenly our roads intersected with an earth-shattering impact, and when the dust settled around us, we saw that our roads had merged, and none were more surprised than we two… once the sheer credulity of the situation wore off, and we stopped laughing long enough to breathe, we found out that it was a union that was indeed bound to happen… i gladly walk this road with you, Sir, and i no longer fear where it will lead, i see the dark alleys that we saunter by, and i know that i’ll never have to walk into darkness alone, that you are my champion, my strength, the unshakable foundation on which all my hopes, dreams and desires stand… the colors of the world have suddenly become more vivid in my eyes, and the world lies now at my feet, holding more promise and potential than it did before when i was a single wanderer… eternity will never be enough time for me to speak and show the depth of my gratitude for all that you’ve given me thus far, and all i know you’ve got in store for me in the future, Sir… i close my eyes, and i can feel your presence and your strength, and your wisdom is beyond my reproach… i kneel before you, all i have or will be belongs to you, forever

… bury the hatchet

•08/04/2010 • Leave a Comment

with the handle sticking out, just in case it becomes necessary to use it again in the future… you never know when you’ll need to run over to it, and drag it out of the ground to use on the person trying to stab you in the back and take away your livelihood… so we parted with letting bygones be bygones, i grin behind this mask i wear for you, so you can’t see the sneer, the smile of one who has convinced you to think you’re in the driver’s seat, while i sit in the passenger seat, yanking on your puppet strings… dance for me, strut like you do in those absurd boots, and you’ll never know that secretly i wait for the day when you fall and fail… and it will happen, it always does to people like you… people who go around with their noses in the air tend to fall harder and more publicly than the rest of us meager slobs… there will be peace, for now… but you keep walking this line, you’ll find out how sharp my claws are, and how deep my fangs can sink into your flesh

… i look out

•08/03/2010 • Leave a Comment

as i pace back and forth inside the cage of my mind, like a lion in a circus… i can sense there’s freedom beyond the bars, and i get restless as i wear a groove in the floor beneath me… they say there’s no rest for the wicked, but who’s to say what wicked really means… and for that matter, who the heck are they, and why do they get to say so much, while i’m forced to swallow my words like bile, gagging on them as i choke them back down… i feel sick… i wish i could just vomit it all up, i’d gladly clean up the mess when i’m done… it’s the matter of what kind of mess will i be making, and do i care enough to consider who that mess will affect… epic fail… a mess i have made, one i have no idea how to begin to clean up without feeling the need to puke a second time, just to ensure i’ve purged myself of this insanity i feel pressing on the thin fabric of my reason… sometimes i think i’ll never learn to trust those i should, and will forever be condemned to wrecking everything i touch… only he can save me, but do i deserve to be saved

… oh nurse

•08/03/2010 • Leave a Comment

i need a humor injection, stat… i’ll need 50cc’s to start

how u doin?

… i feel much better now, thanks for asking

 
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